In case you just want to come home
by EvannaLy
Summary: Then he had left. Had spent no further glance on Hermione, whose world had tumbled down with his few words. She had sunken down to the ground, her vision blurred from all the tears, had sobbed his name over and over again like a mantra, unable to react, completely frozen! Broken! OS and songfic


**Hey there,**

 **It's been a while since my last work, especially since my last in english. This piece appeared in my mind after listening to some old songs, including "In case" from Demi Lovato. I hope you'll enjoy!**

 **I had to remove the lyrics though, since you aren't allowed to use them for songfics. I'm sorry for that, I haven't heard of that rule. So in order to feel the vibe of the story I recommend to listen to the song on youtube :)**

 **watch?v=JaB_r0cAypQ**

 **Lots of love, EvannaLy**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, neither the characters, nor the lyrics of the song.**

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 **„In Case"**

 _~ First verse ~_

Six weeks! It had been six endless weeks since he walked away. Left out of nowhere, without any kind of warning. Hermione carelessly brushed her tangled hair out of her face and sat down on one of the chairs in the small, blue painted kitchen. She glanced at the refrigerator for a moment with empty eyes, where her favorite picture of Severus and herself was pinned at since the moment they moved into the small cottage near Hogsmeade. Harry was the one who had made it, three months after the fall of Voldemort, when Severus was finally released from St. Mungos after months of worrying. She knew, without really seeing it from her place, that both of them had smiles on their faces. True smiles. She had been so happy, thought him to feel the same. At least that's what he had told her over and over again, whenever her doubts had returned, doubts about if he was really happy with her, could really be happy with her. If he really wanted to move into the cottage with her or if he wouldn't be more content with remaining in Hogwarts, until their relationship, beginning at the moment when she had saved him in the shrieking shack where he had laid more dead than alive, proved to work. Not that she had ever had doubts about the fact that he was the right one for her, the only one, her life! She had been happy, so very happy! They had helped each other with the aftereffects of the war that had left ist scars on them, they had found comfort in each others arms in the night when the nightmares became too much to bear, they had started anew, slowly but surely. They had talked for hours, discussed, brewed together, had been on the same page in every aspect. He even acted civil towards Harry for her sake. Everything had been perfect.

Until Severus got home from work at Hogwarts hours later than usual one evening. She had kept his dinner warm with a heating spell and had waited for him, her panic and worrying growing with every further minute. When he finally entered their living room she had been in his arms in a second, had been so relived, everything was fine. Until she realized a moment later that he didn't returned her embrace. Confused she had taken a step back and looked at him curiously. He stood there completely rigid, seemingly uncomfortable, his lips pressed tight together. She had asked him in an insecure manner what the matter was, if something had happened. He hadn't even managed to look her in the eyes when he began his monologue. Everything would happen to fast. He wasn't sure if he really was already over Lily. He had the growing feeling to have been wrong about his feelings for her. He would still see her as a student, as the little Ms. Know-it-all from Gryffindor, despite everything. This wasn't what he had imagined, he had the feeling as if missing out his life.

Then he had left. Had spent no further glance on Hermione, whose world had tumbled down with his few words. She had sunken down to the ground, her vision blurred from all the tears, had sobbed his name over and over again like a mantra, unable to react, completely frozen! Broken!

 _~ Intro refrain ~_

The following days have passed without her realizing it. Harry had found her the next morning when she had failed to appear in the ministry for work, still lying on the ground, cold and unresponsive. Completely terrified he had moved her into her bed and floo called a healer to come and check on her. Ginny and Ron had come, someone had forced her to eat something, she couldn't remember. She hadn't talked for a long time, hadn't slept anymore, just stared at the picture on her nightstand with empty eyes, on which they shared a kiss. It was like from another world.

When she began to feel sick in the mornings, even throwing up once Ginny had put a vial into her hands with a half worried, half pointed look. Pregnancy test. This was the first time since his disappearance that Hermione was drawn out of her lethargic state. With shaking hands she had added a drop of her blood to the potion and began waiting. After exactly five minutes the previously colorless liquid turned wine red. Pregnant!

This was the day she had her second breakdown.

In the following days Hermione had won back her strength piece by piece. She left her bed, even tough she still hadn't returned to the ministry, visited a healer and tried to find Severus. No matter under which circumstances they parted and how he felt towards her a baby changed everything. They would have to arrange themselves somehow.

She didn't find him. He had resigned his position in Hogwarts, had left and hasn't been seen since. Even Harry and his aurors couldn't find any clue about his whereabouts. Hermione felt the desperation seeping in, trying to overwhelm her, trying to tie her down again and she collected every inch of her strength to withstand it. It wasn't only about her anymore. She would manage somehow. That she would be able to let him go in her heart she seriously doubted though. Everythind that was left for her was to stay strong as good as possible and to hope that he would return to her someday.

 _~ Refrain ~_

Who knew, that if she just gave him enough time away, when he had kept his distance for some time if he wouldn't miss her? She couldn't believe that he would live happily anywhere else. Hogwarts has been his bolt hole since he had been eleven years old. He had confessed to her himself that their cottage had been his first true home besides Hogwarts, that those to places where the only ones that gave him a sense of home and security.

What other choice had she left besides hoping for the best?

Hermione pulled through the next three weeks without knowing how. She had returned to the ministry after a week as if nothing happened, had started to work again in the magical law enforcement and had answered to her colleagues questions that she had taken a one week vacation, that nothing had happened. Ginny and Harry checked on her regularly, checked if she ate enough, that she fared reasonably well. With time she learned to put on a convincing smile, that calmed them down at least a little. How broken she still was they didn't know. There was no evening she didn't cried herself desperately into sleep and her nightmares had returned with full force. Without Severus arms and his soothing voice that calmed her afterwards she couldn't sleep anymore in those nights.

She still read every newspaper and kept her eyes and ears wide open to prevent missing any sign that might appear about him and where he was. Without success.

She just wished he would come back home.

 _~ Second verse ~_

The more time went by the more surreal it was. Had she really lived more than a year with him in the cottage? She realized how she couldn't procure his face in front of her inner eyes with a hundred percent certainty and there was nothing she could do against that.

When she thought about the fateful evening she asked herself again and again why she hadn't said, hadn't done anything to stop him. She didn't know. Her only answer was that even if his arguments had been more than questionable she couldn't stand in his way, no matter how much it hurt to admit matter if it had been right or wrong, she had to let him go for his sake. She could just hope that he would come to his senses and return to her. To her and their daughter!

In moments when the pain became unbearable she would go into their shared bedroom, take one of his shirts and bury her face into it. They still hold his smell, even though the scent faded more every day and her heart broke again with every time.

 _~ Intro Refrain + Refrain ~_

And now it had been six weeks and there was still no sign from him. She had no idea what to do that she hadn't already tried. Everything in her longed to simply lay down in her bed and to never get up again, but that was no option, she couldn't do that! She would have a baby, a daughter for whom she had to stay strong. A part of Severus even though he knew nothing about it.

Hermione got up ponderously and heated up last days dinner with a swish of her wand, despite feeling no hunger.

Where was he? Where could he be that he hadn't been found by either the ministry, the order or her? Although maybe it was a good thing that she had no knowledge about it, she thought bitterly. At the end of the day she came to the same conclusion as always, that she would hold onto the tiny glimmer of hope that he would eventually realize what he missed, that he would miss her. She would continue to wait patiently, would survive each day somehow until he would come home!

 _~ Bridge + Refrain ~_

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